My alarm goes off and before I have a moment to talk myself out of it, I throw myself out of bed.I went to bed at a reasonable hour so I know I am rested, although a warm bed always seems like a better idea over anything at 6:00am.
The water boils, the smell and sound of freshly grounded coffee beans fill my kitchen as I mentally prepared myself that this isn’t going to be the coziest slow morning as I need to head out the door in 30 minutes.
I put on the running clothes I laid out the night before, one less decision to make in the morning. I slip on my shoes, strap on my watch, and leave my phone at home. I’m the first to admit an energizing playlist or inspiring podcast is incredible company on a run, but giving myself the opportunity to be with my thoughts on a run and see what happens has led to deep grounding. Curious and open to what will come up for me.
It’s a couple weeks into January, inauguration of our new president, LA fires, the world and news feels so divided and conflicting. You hear one side say basically, “the world is ending and you must do something about it.” You feel like you will never be doing enough to help. Then you hear the other side say, “this is all for the good of our nation, trust us.” I want to believe this but I have a hard time settling for this statement when it feels like so many people’s livelihoods and actual lives are at stake. As my feet roll over the pavement and the cold morning air awakes my lungs, I am brought back to where my feet are. I remind myself, in current times because of technology, we are exposed to much more then our ancestors. We are able to see the most beautiful and terrible things in this world so quickly. Mental health is at a record breaking low and the availability we have to our worlds greatest problems at our finger tips at all hours of the day, is contributing.
I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I donate to organizations that are important to me. It’s hard to feel like it’s ever enough. And let me tell you, if you ever want to feel like you’re not doing enough, open your social media account or listen to others opinions. But when you I put down my phone and I’m out here amongst the land, it all feels much clearer. As my feet move along my street I reflect upon myself. I am proud of how I move through my day and what I’m contributing. While sometimes it feels like you need to declare all you’re doing to help this world, you shouldn’t have to prove this to anyone but yourself. Always looking at ways to improved but never shaming yourself for not doing enough. Staying connected to what’s going on in the world and your community. Maybe the best thing we can all do is take care of ourselves and our community.
Out here amongst the sunrise, I’m often reminded of how powerful this movement of running is, the way it brings you into the moment of each breath. Running is a privilege, I understand this and feel deep gratitude to be able to move like this. And like the sunrise, I keep showing up to remember where my feet are.