“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”-unknown
It’s human nature to want to be liked. We crave love and attention; it’s in our make up.
The relationships in our life effect our mindset. They give us energy or they drain our mental and emotional capacity. Notice things that make you feel uncomfortable or resentful. These may be signs that you want to look at your relationship with that person and set some limits so you can support them as much as possible while also taking care of yourself.
People pleasing is something most of us are guilty of. We want to help others and we should. But there becomes a point where it turns from supporting others to draining you and sometimes it’s a fine line. As adults the more responsibility we have, being that person for all the people in our lives can become too much. It can leave you feeling depleted, run down, depressed, and unmotivated in your own life.
3 Takes on Boundaries:
- What are your boundaries and limits in that relationship? Take time to think about what limits you need in that relationship in order to feel good.
- Be assertive and give yourself permission to set boundaries. When setting boundaries in a relationship be clear and don’t feel guilty about it.
- Setting boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship and shows your self respect. Own that.
This is also an opportunity to notice if you feel a sense of worthiness from the options of others, this is a chance to take a look at other ways to find value in yourself.
Brene Brown BRINGS IT with this insight, “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” SNAP.
Are there relationships you have that you are giving more of the energy to keep them afloat? Yes, there are absolutely different times in friendships and relationships where one person is giving more than the other. But if it doesn’t eventually trade off, if you are constantly giving without feeling some sort of connection to the relationship, it’s no longer your flame to keep lit.
Setting boundaries and changing expectations in your relationships will not only make you happier and make you feel more free, but it will give you a chance to grow as a person.